Walking down the memory lane,

thinking of all the beautiful moments,

that I know will never return.

Yet something about these memories makes me happy.

 

Three years ago, I visited a place. A place worth more than a home to me. My beautiful country, Pakistan.

I remember getting on the plane for the fourth time in my life but as always, it felt like the first. I could feel the excitement running through my veins and I couldn’t have been happier.

I remember my favorite moment from my entire two-month vacation, Eid, which marked the end of the fasting month, Ramadan. I spent these three days with the people who treated me as their own daughter, my mom’s side of the family.

I remember the first day; the beautiful outside experience. My uncle, along with my cousins and my family, including me, took us on a long drive to a river. Since it was Eid, many people were out with their families and the entire place was pretty crowded. There was no available space to park, so we didn’t really get a chance to get out of the car to experience the outside beauty. But what really stunned me was the view; this place was so simple yet so beautiful. There was a long bridge, with water flowing smoothly underneath, and it was surrounded by some trees. This was not like those pretty rivers in Canada, it was different; nevertheless, breathtaking. Near the shallow ends, adults were sitting, with their feet placed in the water, looking so calm and relaxed. Young children were laughing and running around, living their life to the fullest. I opened the window of the car and I breathed in the air. I could sense the smell of the air sinking into my soul and for the first time in the longest time, my heart was at peace.

I remember the second day; my mind clouded with some memories I don’t remember as clear. The actual adventure of this day had begun at night. My cousin took us, my siblings along with six of my other cousins, on a long drive. It was shorter than the one to the river; the most amazing part was that it was around 9:30pm – the sun had set a while back and it was pitch black outside. Whether it is road trips or plane rides, I love traveling at nighttime. Everything looked so beautiful and only the lights of the city were visible. The stop of this small adventure was at one of the best restaurants in the city. My cousin ordered the best food and we ate until there was no more room for anything, not even dessert.  Someone had truly said that time flies when you’re having fun and its true, I was back home in seconds.

I remember the third day; my least favorite out of all three days. I knew after this day, it was time to head back to my dad’s city. Not that I don’t love my dad’s side of the family. I do because I have been taught to love everyone no matter what the circumstances are. But after two whole days of pure happiness, I was just not ready to accept the fact that this part of my journey was over. I enjoyed every moment of this day, from dawn to dusk. The night was my most favorite part about this day; my sister and I along with another cousin of mine pulled an all-nighter. It was my last night here and I wanted to make the most out of it. Even though it meant: lying in bed under the covers with the air-conditioning turned on, silently whispering, sharing moments from the past, and dreaming about the future.

 

These moments,

how I wish I could relive them,

to feel everything all over again.

But it’s impossible to turn back in time.

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